The Beatniks, Issue 1, Part 1
- November 27th, 2007
- Posted in beatniks . webcomics
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This is part one of what I intend to be an ongoing exercise. Inspired by Dean Trippe’s Butterfly, I thought I’d take a stab at writing my own superhero webcomic! There’s only one problem.
I can’t draw.
So, instead, I’m doing my webcomic in script form and will be putting out a few pages a week. I’m going to aim for one update a week minimum, but I don’t know what update-day will be yet.
I took the script style from a sample Gen13 script by Gail Simone, so I hope it’s at least close to the correct format.
The Beatniks: Smells Like Team Spirit
PAGE ONE:
PANEL ONE: Establishing shot of a large suburban outdoor shopping center with an overworked Old London theme. We are looking down on a Trafalgar Square-style plaza filled with people going to and from shops, pushing strollers, carrying lots of shopping bags. It’s way overdecorated for Christmas. Off to one side is a stand-up Buckingham Palace entrance complete with men dressed as guards and people getting their pictures taken. A young man is off to the other side of the plaza next to a bench which holds his backpack. He’s carrying a guitar case. A young woman dressed like a goth is also visible, slumped beside one of the lions at the base of the faux-Nelson’s Column.
PANEL ONE: (top of page) This isn’t what you’re thinking it is.
PANEL ONE: (bottom of page) I’m not that lucky.
PAGE TWO:
PANEL ONE: Pull back from first view to see that we’re looking at the scene through a large window from about four storeys up. The window opens out and one panel is standing slightly open. Our narrator’s head is framed but in shadow with no distinguishing characteristics visible yet. The boy is still visible, taking things out of backpack; Goth-girl still slumps but in a different position.
PANEL TWO: Pull back even more to show a teenaged girl dressed in black with her long, dark-brown hair pulled back in a simple ponytail. Her hands are apparently holding something — telescope? Rifle? — but the item isn’t visible.
PANEL TWO: In fact, I’m not lucky at all.
PANEL THREE-FOUR: Two more views of the same scene but moving around to show the narrator’s face and hands though what she’s holding is still unrevealed. She looks grim, determined. Straight, dark eyebrows over narrowed eyes. No makeup.
PANEL THREE: What I do takes skill, but mostly it takes practice, study, perseverance, steady hands…
PANEL FOUR: And a hell of a lot of patience.
PANEL FIVE: She’s closed one eye and her left hand is pulled back almost to her nose. Her right hand is extended, index finger pointing down into the plaza. She’s aiming a rubber band.
PANEL SIX: Exterior shot of the window with the rubber band shooting through it. Our narrator is faintly visible through the glare on the window which reflects the sky, the rubber band, and a bird flying by.
PAGE THREE:
PANEL ONE: The rubber band shoots down into the plaza in a straight, clean trajectory.
PANEL TWO: POV rubber band as it shoots in the direction of guitar boy and goth girl
PANEL THREE: POV rubber band — aiming right for guitar boy
PANEL FOUR: close-up of guitar-boy’s neck as rubber band bounces off
GUITAR BOY: “Ouch! What the hell…?”
PANEL FIVE: Guitar boy’s face goes slack, and he drops the stuff in his hands. Goth girl is visible staring at him, looking bored.
PANEL SIX: Guitar boy collapses. His stuff flies around, sheet music, etc. Random nearby people crowd around, looking confused, worried, concerned. Goth girl remains where she is, but she smiles.
PAGE FOUR:
PANEL ONE: Interior looking out the window again. Narrator is stretching with her hands clasped behind her, back arched, and is still looking out the window.
PANEL ONE: (cell phone ring) “You drive me crazy!”
KATYA (aka the Narrator): Damn it. She’s always…
PANEL TWO: Katya has turned around and has her cellphone to her ear.
KATYA: Would you quit changing my ringtone?
MARYN (aka GOTH GIRL): Hey, Deadshot!
PANEL THREE: Katya paces.
KATYA: If we’re going to have codenames, I want to be called The Snapper–
MARYN: Ga-a-ag. Do. Not. Want.
PANEL FOUR: Katya has moved back to the window and is looking out. Maryn is visible with her own cellphone to her ear and making a gag-me face into the mouthpiece. Police and EMTs have gathered around the fallen guitar-boy and one of the cops is opening the guitar case.
KATYA: Seriously? Okay, then, “Sarcasma.” What should my codename be?
MARYN: Sting?
PANEL FIVE: Maryn POV. Cop has opened the guitar case to reveal an automatic rifle and ammunition. Another cop has pulled out the edge of a round from the backpack. Other cops are moving the crowd back.
KATYA: …I want a latte.
PANEL SIX: Maryn is moving away from the scene as the crowd is shoved back and some begin to notice the weapon the cops immediately tried to hide again. A few people are running. Several are talking/yelling into cellphones and/or taking pictures of the scene.
MARYN: Indeed. A mission-accomplished espresso beverage sounds just about right.
MARYN: I’ll see you at Jolt.
I like.
I want to see where this is going to go.
and yes I can see what this would look like
in comic form.
You’re only updating this once a week???? But I want more! :)
Really, really fun!
Oh, good. Glad you like–thanks! I’m going to aim for once a week so I’ll have a schedule and not just dab at it, but I might do more depending on Other Stuff :)
It’s hard for me to read in this format admittedly, but it seems like an interesting idea (and your sense of how the panels should flow is good).
I like to draw though am *absolutely nowhere* near “professional comic artist” level, but I was considering asking if I could try to draw this first page. Mind you, I’m stuck right on page 1 because I have no experience drawing shopping malls ;) but it might be an interesting experience at least. What do you think? Note that it would probably take me a long time to do this too, especially if I were to ink and color.
OOooo, DQ, that’d be COOL! Yes, please and thank you!
Ooh – this sounds good … your Katya reminds me of my Vera : )